The Unfortunate Fight to Fit In

the unfortunate fight to fit inAre you trying to fit in? Believe me, it can be exhausting. Always promoting, always proving, always pushing…just to get into that spot where others recognize your significance. After reading that, doesn’t it just sound ridiculous? Well, we get into these seasons of striving without even realizing it. And, leaders do it just as much (or more) as anyone else. It’s the drive in us.

To see and hear leaders do and say things that reveal their fight makes me want even more to say NO to this struggle. When we name-drop, toot our own horn, talk only to “important” people, and show-off on social media, we are frankly getting bloodied in this battle. We need to see it for what it is…an unfortunate fight.

There is a far better meditation than fitting in. The better reflection is… am I being obedient? The clarity that this question brings is staggering in light of the turmoil we allow to pillage our mind and emotions when we try to “fit in.” John Ortberg, in his soul-searching book The Me I Want to Be, writes, “Real life, however, begins when I die to the false god that is me.” And, we die to that false god only as we live in obedience!

Here are some follow up questions for even deeper clarity:

  • How should my obedience to God reflect in how I lead?
  • How should my obedience to God reflect in my relationships?
  • How should my obedience to God reflect in my daily responsibilities?


Isn’t that where our focus should be…? And, in answering the above questions, I take my agenda out and put His in! Sure, the enemy is going to try and distract with the peripheral. But I refocus when I live in deliberate obedience to God. And, I do this by depending on His grace. He will help us leave the fight to fit in and live being faithful to what He alone wants us to be and do. Nothing else matters. But obedience makes everything else count!

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